jacobstories

my website logo is the ostrich

the rake can be an evil stick with metal at the end. It can come up and hit you right between the eyes when you step on it.

YOu can use it for putting leaves in a pile but when the wind blows you have to put the leaves in a pile again.

It becomes a nuisance then your rake will fly out of your hands and hit your wife in the badonkey.

she will probably get mad and ask for a divorce then you have to buy a new rake.

one that isn’t mean and hit your wife right in the Badonkey! {that means bum} IF YOU WANT TO GET RID OF YOUR EVIL RAKE GIVE IT TO SOMEONE THEN TELL THEM THE STORY ABOUT THE EVIL RAKE. IF THEY DON’T BEILEVE YOU TELL THEM I WARNED YOU AND LEAVE.

Killer

One dark and evil night lightning struck a tree and land with a thud on a highway there was a women driving when she seen the tree she tried to call her husband but no service. then this person pulled up she asked do you know a person that can move this tree he replied

Yes ill get my chainsaw and kill you she said yea right then the guy came out with a hockey mask on and a chainsaw and said to her RUN BEFORE I GET YOU He let out a spine chilling laugh of horror she darted into the woods. he said ITS NOT SAFE TO GO IN THE WOODS WHEN THERE IS A LIGHTING STORM.

She didn’t care as long as she got away from the killer Then lightning struck again and then a tree landed on one of her legs she couldn’t move then the killer came out of the darkness started up the chainsaw as he got closer to her she squirmed and squirmed but couldn’t move the killer shouted ITS OVER NOBODY WILL KNOW YOUR DEAD he let out a shrill laugh then he started to cut through her slowly then there was blood flying everywhere bones cracking and after a few seconds she was dead.

The Fat Man

I cant stand it ive been in this darn line for hours ive made up my mind to leave and come back in an hour im going to go to mcdonalds and play on the play apparatus it says if your 50 pounds or higher you cant go in it good thing im a midget so i go up in the green tube part and then a fatman came and sat beside me i said to him. hey man are you to fat to play on this play apparatus he said no i weigh 49.9 pounds last time i weighed my self i thought oh no hes to fat i just saw him eat 10 quadruple big macs as i was thinking i heard a thump i looked to see what it was then i forgot the fat man was beside me i looked down and saw him playing a game cube i asked him what are you doing he said im trying to lose weight i replied you idiot you need real exercise to lose weight then he started running in little circles i said to him you need real exercise not running in wimp circles you have to go outside and walk a kilometre then i took the fat man outside every centimetre he would fall flat on his face i said to him your useless then i said to him i GIVE UP fatty get some exercise equipment and then you wont have to leave your house to exercise then he ran home then i went back to check the line AHHHH man the the store is closed

By Jacob.m i wrote this when i was in my bedroom doing nothing

The pickle

One day a pickle wondered what life was like outside the pickle jar. He looked at the oddly shaped humans and asked a fellow pickle what’s life outside the pickle jar like. The pickle replied you’ll get your chance.

Then a hand popped the lid of the pickle jar a hand came burrowing in and all the pickles were screaming. Take me take me then the hand took the pickle that wondered what life outside the pickle jar was like. When the pickle was out the pickle yelled I’M FREE. But he didn’t know that he.

Would slowly get devoured then he wondered what that big hole was in the oval shape. (face) Then he knew he was going to get devoured.

By Jacob m grade (7) JJJJJJJJJJJJJJ

Dumpling boy

They say he was born in a dump I knew it couldn’t be true so I went to look for this so called dumpling boy. so I went the next day Looking for him at every dump in town and he wasn’t at any of them.

The next day I went to school and told every body there was no such thing as dumpling boy. One guy replied yes there is he was out in the town begging for food. I asked how do you know he was out begging for food.

He replied I saw him at a store begging the owner for food. i wondered what he meant Then I asked him what store was he begging for food at. He replied at bucky bob’s.

So the next day I went to the store called bucky bobs I was astonished because I saw the guy that said that he saw the guy. Then I went over and asked him what are you doing here and he just ran away.

FOOD FIGHT

Pretty soon the food fight was in full swing and I was in the middle of it. Then the principal walks in an. And then everybody stops and then the principle picks up some food and throws it at me i duck and it hits some kid square in the face.

I laughed and he threw some back at the principle then the principle got mad and threw a plate at him it him in the face then the principle sentences him to 2 years in detention. Then the vice principal comes in and gives the principle 1 year of detention. Then the bell rang to go outside.

the end

The puzzle

Dang nabbit I said to my darn puzzle then my mom came in and said what are you doing. I replied I cant figure this puzzle out. she replied your not supposed to figure it out.

Then she left the room then I threw the puzzle out my window it smashed on the ground then I ran into a pole then I woke up in the doctors office and I asked what happened the doctor replied you were in a coma for three years I told him I didn’t remember anything.

The end

The room

I looked around the room in horror and realized that I was the only person to vote no. Towards playing hide and go seek with my little sister but my parents made me do it.

So had to play with her the next thing I knew that she was some where down stairs. So I went downstairs and looked all over when I was coming up the stairs I saw the door slam. In front of me I was trapped.

Then I remembered playing all those escape the room games on the computer because all you do on those are try to find objects that can help you out of the room.

So I started on looking for a flashlight I looked everywhere then I found one in those storage boxes my dad put down there I pushed the button and nothing happened I checked all over for batteries I found those also in a box that my dad put down there also.

So I tripped over a book and fell in a garbage can

The end

THE DOOR

I knew something was wrong when the door opened it was my cousins and there evil little baby I don’t know why he never grew up yet he’s been in baby form for 6 years now.

But he always finds a way to get me in trouble every time he’s over last time he was over he Threw a piece of my birthday cake on my dad then I said it was the baby.

But he didn’t believe me because everybody knows baby’s cant throw cake very far so I was grounded for a month I couldn’t watch TV couldn’t play video games it all sucked.

The end

The Hotel One night a boy went to a hotel in Kentucky and he wouldn’t stop running around so then a hotel employee told him if he wasn’t quiet he would get kicked out of the hotel a few hours later he got kicked out of the hotel and his family went to another one and in that one he got kicked out for being to loud too this kept happening to every hotel they went to so when they got home they had no money because they spent it on the hotels so they had no money and they couldn’t pay the payments on their house and they got evicted and they had to live on the streets for the rest of their lives

 bill the peanut One day there was a peanut named bill he was a very happy peanut one day he asked his mom why he wasn’t allowed to go to school she replied because were peanuts and other people are allergic to us he thought it was unfair that they couldn’t go to school so he told his mom he was going to have a protest that peanuts should be allowed to go to school but the protest didn’t work so he just wanted a school for just peanuts so they could play around talk without people having reactions to the peanuts so a year later a school was made for just peanuts and he loved that school so much because he could go out and talk to other peanuts and have a good time and actually have real friends that he doesn’t just talk to on the phone now he can go to school and talk to them in person he also got to show of his talents interests and other peanuts showed him their talents and interests he was amazed by what they could do and how unique each of them was